There’s a couple of pre scheduled posts going to be coming up in the next few days (other than my musical tuesdays which have also been pre scheduled) as it seems the blogging awards are doing their rounds again! So if interested look out for those, if not look away until Monday!
This is not one of those posts.
*stands up in middle of room, all eyes glaring*
‘Hi, my names Vicky and it’s been years since my last dentist trip.’
Bad I know! I love my teeth, I regularly clean them with everything and anything that promotes healthy teeth and gums, but recently something has gone wrong in my mouth of pearls! There’s a pirate in there I’m sure and he’s digging and drilling for treasures. The pain is crazy, it’s like cthullu has decided to wrap his tentacles round and pull and crush and push!
I’m an absolute whimp when it comes to my teeth, hence the need to keep them as well looked after without visiting the demon that is, or should I say was, my dentist. She has this smile as wide as her face that’s filled with perfectly aligned teeth like marble white tombstones in a brand new over crowded cemetery, she has a voice of pure tormenting silk, rubber coated hands that tug and pull your mouth in ways it never knew it could go and boobs … huge, barely contained boobs that smash up against your face if that moler right at the back(sorry mouth experts, I don’t know how to spell that one) is proving rather exciting and interesting.
I can’t do it … I just can’t get in touch with the dentist and tell them that a giant squid God and a treasure thirsty pirate are convinced there’s something worth fighting for at the roots of these well embedded slightly off white rocks!
In an attempt to ignore this pain I decided that the house could probably do with some sort of organisation upstairs. We spend hardly anytime up there and yet somehow it’s the most unorganised and mess ridden floor of the house! I’m sure the creatures lurking in our attic space are tidier than us!
Let me paint you a picture … you walk up one flight of stairs that’s covered in carpet that your great aunt probably had in her house and your greeted by four doors, one to the left, one to the right and two in front of you. I guarantee you will stand there for quite some time trying to work out where is best to start! Door to the right is the bathroom, that’s not too bad. Turn the light off, shut the door and forget about it at least until it’s time for you to visit the urination station for a pee break!
Door to the left is the smallest room in the house, so you assume it’ll be the easiest to sort! WRONG! I for the life of me cannot remember standing in there and pulling all the clothes of the railing to the floor, throwing in every pair of shoes known to man and standing in the middle of it throwing it all up into the air like a kid enjoying autumn falls … but apparently I did! One hour later and I can finally see the floor and the stain where I accidentally mashed shoe polish into the cream carpet.
The other two rooms are bedrooms and I spent a grand total of three hours trying to make them look like a show home. They do now, but the fact I ran from one room to the other with an arm full of bedding and apparently my eyes up at the ceiling doesn’t make the big clean up worth it … I ran straight into the corner of a little cabinet and ripped my leg open like a sweet craving teen that’s just been given permission to root through mums purse for change!
Worse thing is I didn’t even notice it hurt! I just carried on with a ‘whoopsie daisy’ and a rendition of Chers Shoop Shoop song! It was when I sat down for my well deserved sweet and sour chicken with fried rice that I notice dried up blood on my trousers! Oh well, too late to sort it now… I’ll just have a hole in my leg!!!
Two points of pain and a packet of dusters later and I survived Tuesday night! I wonder what tonight has in store.
love to all my readers!