There you go, that’s my bold statement for the day. I had the joys of a ‘falling out’ Wednesday, as an adult these instances are few and far between now-a-days. I believe this is due to the fact that we as adults can comprehend when something is a joke, something is silly, or something will be more hassle to fall out over than just laugh off. No longer do we scream and cry and shout and run to a teacher or our parents… now (in my life anyway) it’s a laugh and a ‘you nutter’ a hug and we all move on.
Still things get difficult, things get beyond our control, our comprehension and our own selves. Let me paint a picture… It was an odd kind of friendship, one that none of your other friends had made the time to get to know or add to their own growing friendship groups. Granted… you hadn’t ever introduced them. They had however met your partner on brief occasions and they didn’t really get on. Here’s why, there’s a fine line between friendship, flirting and downright wrong, it’s a fine line that shouldn’t be messed with when at least one of you in this friendship is happy, content and intent on staying with their partner till death do you part. Even after you have said to this friend they are messaging you too much, with kisses and flirts, even after asking for it to stop, even after telling them that it was all putting a strain on your relationship and work, it carries on. This person had a lot going on, a lot that I attentively listened to (a few times with no choice) and eventually all that was happening in their life played with their head enough for them to start blaming others and not being able to trust anyone… eventually it got to the point where one simple innocent act by myself resulted in them assuming I was conspiring against them (I had accepted a Facebook friend request from their son-in-law who had previously worked with us).
It got to the point that everything I did was analysed, everything I said was automatically assumed to be about them, blogs, Facebook and twitter statuses just must have been about them. Truth is … they never were. Well apart from this one obviously!
It had already gotten to the point that I couldn’t cope with it any more… to the point where I was hiding messages and my phone from the other half, despite me doing nothing wrong I just simply didn’t want the confrontation following on from that text they sent you with pointless questions and KISSES and the next text… and the next text. How do you tell the guy you love so dearly despite his low self confidence that you are not interested in this ‘friend’ and you will not stray despite them having a bigger wage packet?
Things got too much and I chucked in the towel, I think the phrase ‘I’m your colleague and boss and that is all I will be’ came out of my mouth. My issue now? I have to see this guy almost every day. Note to self… work and friends, keep them separate! Saying that, Thursday and today have been ok, there seems to have been an air that has lifted… we seem better as colleagues.
Friendships are difficult even as you get older, it makes me think of the phrase ‘you can’t make everyone happy’. I have always had many different friendship groups even as a child due to my diverse interests and ability to find something in everybody worth keeping around in your life, this has always resulted in me having to time manage well, weekends were shared out equally between each group, evenings were first come first serve and Christmas’s and birthday celebrations were always split up for each group. Whilst I can get on with anyone, not everyone gets on with anyone.