Ever since I was old enough to remember my dreams … I’ve dreamed at least once a week. Since around 6 years of age I’ve had trouble sleeping, with issues ranging from restless leg syndrome (R.L.S), sleep paralysis/night terrors and on occasion those pain in the bum allergies.
My dreams and nightmares range from just a simple day meeting friends and grabbing a coffee right to the down right bizarre, so I decided to share little snippets of my dream diaries kept over the years! Feel free to let me know what you think – I like dream meanings/symbolism!
11 years old – I dreamed about the magic pen knife again, I open it and end up in another world full of faeries and I’m the same size! I like this world, it really is pretty and we dance together!
This was a regular recurring dream from my child hood… one of the nicer ones! I think I just watched too much Fern Gully! (Pictured above)
My childhood wasn’t all nice colorful dreams – unfortunately nightmares were a regular occurrence for me. I’d dream of witches in my bedroom cackling at me over my head board or 3 angry people stood screaming and shouting in the corner of my room. I’d muster up all the courage I could to run out of my room to the safety and loving, caring arms of my parents… but I’d get to the top of the stairs and freeze, I really REALLY wanted to get downstairs but I couldn’t, it felt like something was holding/pulling me back. As I got older night terrors become more of a stress for me and as life got more stressful so did sleep. I no longer had the ability to even get to the stairs, I’d freeze right there in bed as my mind unfolded terrors around me.
12 Years Old – I was playing with Joanne and Lisa in a play ground next to a field full of hay bails. We were having fun until a crazy man came running after us, he’d come from under a hay bail. My dad and Nigel (Lisa and Joanne’s dad, and also my dads work partner at the time – they were park wardens) came to save us, they shot him and told us not to be scared. But I was.
13 Years Old – I’m running through an abandoned mansion – red eyes are looking at me through the cracks in the walls and floor boards … they belong to the wolves … I can’t work out how to get out … I need to get out!
14 Years Old – I was looking through a chain link fence at a monkey on a swing, he was looking back. He leaped off the swing and ran at me too fast for me to react… he bit my nose. I woke up crying!
16 Years old (College Years) – I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t get out of bed … I couldn’t even scream or shout for help. I just helplessly laid there terrified whilst small human child like creatures dragged themselves out from under my bed and tried to get on. Thank-fully my alarm going off seemed to shake me back into the real world – another zombie like day at college for me then.
16 Years old – I don’t think the hand reaching up between the wall and my bed was meant to be threatening but I was scared enough to wake up shaking. Why always from under the bed!?
17 Years Old (Broke up with my first serious boyfriend) – I’m alone, the walls to an empty house are closing in on me, the ceiling is getting lower, and I can’t open the door.
18 Years Old (finished college) – I’m sitting on the edge of a pavement with my feet dangling into a calm sea, I can see dolphins playing on the horizon. I am calm. (This was a strange dream for me – I have a phobia of deep water… and would never put my feet in! Yet I was happy)
19 Years Old – I think I’m awake… in fact I’m pretty sure I am… a huge spider runs across my bed and gets under the covers with me, I freak out and throw my bedding around to try and find it and get rid. There’s no spider… and no spider that big exists… surely?
Sunday 29th June 2014 – 25 Years Old. I had a dream that I lost the sandwich shop at work and ended up on a huge park/nature walk type thing (like the one in Leeds near the butterfly world) I bumped into all my old college friends… they were playing football… so I wonder over and kick two balls at the same time, with one foot and score in two separate goals! I was their sandwichless God! I woke up panicking because I didn’t know how to explain to my boss that I didn’t get his sandwich and it took me hours to not get it!!
Monday 28th July 2014 – 25 Years Old. Last night was a bad night for sleep, constantly waking up in a state of panic or fear … but I can only remember one nightmare – Moving into a house with John, we have put all the computer room stuff in however there is a giant chandelier in this room, now all the stuff is in it is hanging on a slant as it leans against the computer chair. I tell John that this won’t do, he says the delivery driver will deal with it and goes of somewhere. I go sit in a room with nothing in but a sofa, I lay on the sofa. I hear someone shouting me ‘Vix, Vicky, Vix, yoohoo, Vicky!!’ I shout ‘What’ and they whisper ‘can I get in your bed?’ Suddenly I am in my bed and I hear the whisperer sate ‘I’m getting in’ I’m suddenly terrified and try to shout for John but my throat doesn’t work, I cannot shout or scream. At this point I realize I’m dreaming yet I still feel panicked, I’m getting hotter and hotter and feel like I’m suffocating. Eventually I somehow manage to wake up and I feel mentally and physically exhausted. I can cope without dream people getting in my bed thank-you very much brain!
So there you have it … a little insight into how my brain works when I’m asleep.